So confession time: I have not written a single word on the blog until now, Tuesday July 8th. This week has just been exhausting. I am not able to eat enough calories to satisfy my caloric needs and I have not been sleeping very good at all. The combination leaves me feeling like a zombie most days. I have to stay up since they are coming back in here in 35 minutes or I would probably be asleep right now.
Tuesday Dr. P seemed to have no clue what I was talking about when I asked her if my c-section got scheduled. It was a major disappointment. I kind of wanted that end date in sight. She did agree to let me switch to heparin, which they would do anyways around this time. I take it twice a day instead of once, and it burns way less. I seriously remember nothing else about this day. I feel like I am missing something important here.
Wednesday morning around 1 am I felt fluid dripping. Dr. S thinks baby A's membranes may have ruptured, but she still had plenty of fluid and this was a very tiny trickle. I had to have an NST done so that they could make sure she was not in distress. Contractions were 3 minutes apart for what seemed like forever (actually 3 hours.) It was a long and exhausting night. My good friend Kelly came to see me. It was such a relief to talk about something other than the babies. The nurses and staff here seem to only want to talk about the triplets: how they were conceived, names, how I felt finding out, etc. I was so happy to talk about life outside of here, it still exists!!!
Thursday I saw Dr. Be when he came on shift. He let me know they have scheduled me for 7/22 for my c-section. It will be early in the morning, he said usually they try to have scheduled sections done between 5 and 6 am, but we will not have an exact time until closer to the date. All the girls passed their BPP's with flying colors again, so they are looking really good. I requested another Neonatal consult since we had passed 32 weeks and had our end date in sight. Dr. Perricante gave good odds if they were to be born now at 32 weeks: full term survival rates, 2-4 days of O2 via nasal cannula, they would start breast milk right away with IV to supplement until they could eat enough, jaundice would need phototherapy usually around a week, and a total NICU stay of around 2-3 weeks. Even better were the odds for 35 weeks: NICU or standard nursery for 24 hours for observation, but if no issues they will room in and go home with us! Noah and Beth were in town and they came by to see me. I miss them sooooo much. I was so happy to get to see them! I also had to have a cardiovascular scan done because I had pain in my left calf. A blood clot would only have meant upping the blood thinners, but it turned out to not be a blood clot. I have decreased flow due to babies on my vena cava, but no clots. Jerimiah came and had dinner with me to celebrate our anniversary. He brought Hibachi, since that is what we always have on our anniversary. His mom sent a beautiful arrangement of flowers from her yard and mine. They were just stunning. Natalie baked me some homemade turtle brownies that were just to die for! Jerimiah spent the night with me again. Neither of us seemed to sleep very good that night (which usually the nights he stays are our best nights together.)
Friday morning I saw Dr. Be again before he left for the day. There were no major changes in anything, so he said just keep cooking these babies. Sue and Natalie brought the boys up around lunch time, and they took just Issy back with them. They were going to go fix dinner for the 4th and have a pool party at our house. Allen surprisingly was very cooperative and sat in his stroller eating graham cracker "cookies" for over an hour. He also had the longer "the ride" ever. Jerimiah took us all over the place. It was nice to see new things. Allen's favorite part was the bubble wall in the children's wing.
Friday night was a nightmare, just seriously a complete nightmare. The nurse came in and woke me up to listen to the babies. She brought me a snack with my medicine since I am supposed to eat with my metformin. I was just finishing my food when my foot started itching. I pulled back the covers and found a bug on my foot. I had never seen this kind of bug so I killed it without destroying it too much. I took a picture while waiting for the nurse to come back in. she called the charge nurse who took it to maintenance to determine what kind of bug it was. Next thing I know 3 people including the charge nurse come back in my room in full protective gear like I have the plague. The charge nurse then informed me it was a bed bug. An actual bed bug. I sat there kind of stunned for a minute. She then said "Well it was not here before you, so you or one of your visitors must have brought them in with you." I just sat there stunned. They started going through all of my things. Anything that was fabric or anything they could not sanitize was double bagged or trashed. I was so humiliated. Contractions were picking up so they gave me my normal 10mg of Procardia around 1am. Repeatedly this charge nurse kept insisting that it was my fault that these bugs were here. I was made to take a shower with them in here, they took my clothing as soon as I got in and once I was done and dry they gave me a hospital gown. The "one size" underwear did not fit me, so I was just left exposed feeling. I was immediately taken to another room, with the little bit of stuff they let me keep. I was so upset by this point (almost 2 AM) my contractions were less than 2 minutes apart and my blood pressure the highest its ever been (158/97!!!!) The doctor told them to give me another 20mg of Procardia. Sometime around 4am they settled down and I actually dozed off, only to be woken up at 6 by the Dr. H. He checked my cervix, and thank God there was no change. I honestly hope I never see that nurse who was the charge nurse again. I feel such rage and anger at how she humiliated me.
Saturday I had one of my favorite nurses Delores. She reminds me of my mother in so many ways. She helped me work past some of the issues I was having. She put a do not disturb without seeing nurse sign on my door to minimize traffic in and out. Sue (my mother-in-law) came up here to bring me some of my clothes and collect all my "contaminated things." Jerimiah was too upset and we were worried how he would react if he were the one to come. She spent some time with me. I hadn't eaten anything since dinner the night before (it was after 1pm when she got there.) Depression really hit me hard. I had been feeling ok emotionally until the incident the night before. I really hadn't even noticed that I didn't eat. I didn't feel hungry and my tummy wasn't growling so I really just kind of forgot about it. Sue wouldn't leave until I ate. I ate a cup of pudding and dinner was coming in. Just as I started to try and eat dinner, they came to tell me that my new room was ready. They moved me back into a big room since it was now unoccupied. Sue stayed a little longer and helped get me situated into my new room. She then collected all of my things from the infested room and took them home. I took 10mg of ambien to help me sleep and slept almost 8 full hours! That's more sleep straight through than I have gotten in MONTHS!
Sunday I met Dr. R for the first time. She was returning off maternity leave. She went over all my records and was very thorough. She ordered me a TDaP booster, since I had not gotten one yet. She also said we needed to get a GBS culture done, since I also missed that (they usually do them 32w in office.) She said if one of the other doctors didn't get it this week she would do it when she got back in on Friday. It was nice to finally meet her. Jerimiah made it to church and picked up my bags I ordered for the diaper bags. He said they are "cute and girlie." Sheila from my MOPS group stopped by to see me. I didn't realize she worked here. I was asleep when she came in so it took me a minute to recognize her. I still haven't caught back up from my crazy nights this last week. Ms. Finch and Danny (the Duke intern for BUMC) also came by to visit me. We prayed before they left. I was actually awake when they got here. Most of the time when no one is in my room I am passed out, so that was kind of a shock.
Monday I saw Dr. S, secretly he is my favorite of all the Dr's. He said just keep hanging on. Right after lunch time Sue brought the boys and Grandma up to see me. It is kind of sad McDonald's food is actually delicious compared to what they serve here (and I used to hate McD's!!!) While they were on the tail end of their visit I received a surprise visit from Gary Combs (our pastor at WCC.) He had just gotten back from Uganda and was "pushed out" by all the prep for Fire Island VBS. It was nice to see him and to pray. Mostly my prayers have been for Natalie and Sue caring for the boys (especially Sue as I know it is hard on her) and for Jerimiah. He just does not handle stress very well. Where as I am the one to buckle down and accomplish more under stress, he is the one to go hide and get nothing done. This works really well when we are together as a team, but with me here I know he is not doing very well. He doesn't really sleep at night and what sleep he does get is troubled. Issy did enjoy VBS @WCC. Unfortunately the video of them singing caught him playing on his iPod which was not supposed to even be at church. (sigh)
Another week down. 14 days until I get to meet my babies (assuming they cooperate!) We do have a full moon on the 12th, which is when I went into real full blown labor with both Issy and Allen. Hopefully the girls are not as attracted to the moon! Struggling to keep my head up still. Depression like this has not been an issue since I was a teenager. I really am trying to pull myself out with prayer and faith, but I am struggling. I usually am not so inclined to share the emotional struggle, but it is real and it is part of this experience.
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